The Update

We had our second ultrasound yesterday, after almost two weeks of anxious waiting. It was quite obvious there was nothing there, only the empty sac. The Dr was still not ready to induce miscarriage, and although I couldn’t stand anymore to go on like this, I must give him credit for being so cautious. (I am afraid many a baby is lost because of careless doctors just doing their job.)  I didn’t know how I could go on for who knew how many more weeks, when I felt so sure that the baby was gone. (I have reason to believe the embryo lived for several weeks, then died). I know there were sisters that have been praying for me after this ultrasound that I would not need to suffer longer, and the Lord heard. The same day I started bleeding. I knew this was it, and to speed things up I ended up taking dongquai and Vitamin C. I never thought a day would come when I would have to do that. But after the miscarriage before this one, I bled too long and hope to avoid it this time.

It wasn’t meant to be. The Lord has given, He has taken away, may His name be praised. He knew all along what was best for us, and what was best for Him. If I look at it in a way that this is what is best for the Lord’s interest, I can accept it so much easier. Now when I am sad I turn my mind to our other children, and I feel so blessed. God has been so good to us, and I feel He wants me to appreciate them more.  I believe with time He will add blessings as He sees fit, if He sees fit. In the meantime, He wants to gain me, one way or another.

Here is a song that I just love. It is one of the sweetest songs I ever heard.Why not click on the link below to listen to the melody while you read the song...

O Love, that wilt not let me go;

I rest my weary soul in Thee

I give Thee back the life I owe

And in Thine ocean depths its flow

 May richer, fuller be

O Light, that followest all my way

I yield my flickering torch to Thee

My heart restores its borrowed ray,

That in Thy sunshine’s blaze its day  

May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy, that seekest me through pain

I cannot close my heart to Thee

I trace the rainbow through the rain

And feel the promise is not vain

That morn shall tearless be.

O cross that liftest up my head

I dare not ask to fly from Thee;

I lay in dust life’s glory dead,

And from the ground there blossoms red

Life that shall endless be.

Here is a link for you to listen to the new melody. If only I knew how to include the song from the cd that comes from NYCYPCD on this blog, I would. You might be able to listen to part of the song there.